Havering Father Says Homelessness Is Pushing His Mental Health To Breaking Point As He Fears Losing Time With His Son.

16th September 202616th September 2026 Francesca Lilleystone 0 Comments Havering Council, Housing, Mental health min read

A Havering father who says he has been left homeless following a family crisis has told The Havering Daily that the uncertainty over where he will live is having a devastating impact on his mental health, as he desperately tries to find somewhere he can call home and where his four-year-old son can continue to stay with him. Matthew says he is sofa surfing, struggling emotionally and fears that being placed in a single room in an HMO could mean losing the regular contact he has with his young son. He also alleges that he has been treated differently by some housing officers because of his race.

Matthew had previously been living at a property connected to a housing association with another member of his family.

However, when that family member was taken into hospital, Matthew says he was not permitted to have his name added to the property.

He was subsequently left without a permanent home and began sleeping on friends’ sofas.

For Matthew, he says the situation has gone far beyond the practical difficulties of not having somewhere to live.

It has begun to affect his emotional wellbeing and, he says, has left him struggling to cope with the uncertainty surrounding his future.

He told The Havering Daily:

“I was left homeless and began sofa surfing on people’s couches. This was horrendous and I struggled because my world is my four year old son, that is all I have in this world and he spends three to four nights a week with me.”

Matthew says that his relationship with his son has become even more important to him while he has been dealing with the upheaval in his life.

He says that having his son stay with him three or four nights a week gives him something to focus on and a reason to keep going during what he describes as an extremely difficult period.

But without a stable home, Matthew fears that relationship could also be affected.

He says he has now been told that the accommodation being considered for him could be a single room in shared accommodation, which he believes would prevent his son from staying with him as he currently does.

For Matthew, that prospect has added to the emotional pressure he is already experiencing.

“I have got nowhere to call home and I am sofa surfing,” he says.

“My son is all I have left in my life.”

Matthew began seeking accommodation through Havering Council in May and attended a homelessness interview on 12 May with a friend accompanying him.

He says he left the interview feeling that he had not been listened to.

“I had a homeless interview on 12 May. I attended the interview with my friend. The man doing the interview was rude and unhelpful, he was not interested in helping me at all. He told me I had to go on the housing register.”

Matthew subsequently began bidding for accommodation through the council’s housing system.

He says that initially he felt reassured after being allocated a housing officer who he believes understood his circumstances.

“I had a lovely housing officer called Brian who was fantastic and told me due to my circumstances I was a priority. He was really helpful. Then he left and I received an email saying my housing case was closed following my interview.”

Matthew says the subsequent uncertainty over his housing situation made his emotional state increasingly difficult to manage.

He now says he believes he has experienced racial discrimination from some housing officers.

“There is no reason why else they would close my case, so I truly believe they are being racially discriminating towards me.”

He added:

“I believe that many of these housing officers have often acted in a racist manner towards me, none of them are helpful. They now want to place me in an HMO in one room where I cannot have my son there. My son is all I have left in my life.”

The allegations of racial discrimination are Matthew’s account of his experience and have not been independently established by The Havering Daily.

His concerns about his treatment are now intertwined with his wider concerns about his mental health.

Matthew says the lack of a permanent home has left him living from sofa to sofa without knowing where he will be living in the weeks and months ahead.

He says that uncertainty is taking an emotional toll.

Rather than being able to concentrate on rebuilding his life, he says much of his time is spent worrying about where he will sleep and whether he will be able to continue having his son stay with him.

For a father who says his four-year-old son is the most important part of his life, the possibility of losing that routine is particularly distressing.

Matthew says he is not asking for special treatment.

He says he wants his circumstances to be properly considered and to be given an opportunity to find accommodation that will allow him to rebuild his life while maintaining his relationship with his son.

He has now contacted a number of Havering councillors in an attempt to get help.

Matthew says councillors, including Council Leader Councillor Keith Prince, have responded to him and are supporting him in trying to resolve the situation.

However, he claims the greatest difficulty has been communicating with housing officers.

“The councillors tell me they are helping me, it is the council housing officers that are not being helpful and are not even responding to councillors it seems.”

Matthew remains sofa surfing.

He says the situation has left him feeling increasingly vulnerable at a time when he most needs stability.

His immediate concern is finding somewhere safe and suitable to live.

But behind that is another fear: that continued homelessness and the loss of regular contact with his son could further affect his already fragile emotional wellbeing.

Matthew says having somewhere stable to live would give him the opportunity to begin rebuilding his life and, most importantly, continue being a father to his young son.

He says he wants to be able to wake up knowing where he will be staying, have his son come to stay with him and begin looking towards the future rather than constantly worrying about what happens next.

A spokesperson for Havering Council told The Havering Daily:

“Our housing team is continuing to support Mr X to help prevent him from being homeless, by putting him forward for licensed HMOs that are available.

“Mr X case remains ongoing and his caseworker will review his needs to support continued assessment of his circumstances.

“Due to Mr X age and circumstances, Mr Ward’s entitlement is limited to shared accommodation in accordance with housing regulations.

“In an effort to prevent homelessness and support Mr X in securing somewhere to live in an area suitable to his requirements, his caseworker has identified a suitable room within shared accommodation and has submitted a referral on his behalf.

“If the room is suitable and rent is affordable, the Council will support him financially to move with our deposit scheme.

“Havering Housing Solutions is committed to treating all residents fairly, with dignity and respect. Our officers work professionally and impartially to support individuals based on their assessed needs and circumstances, regardless of background.”

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