Bereaved mothers have spoken of the harrowing experience of being told not to cry or show emotion during court proceedings for their children’s killers — because it might “upset” the defendant.
At an anti-knife crime demonstration outside City Hall on Saturday, 25 October, families shared the unbearable challenges they face when attending trials in completed murder cases involving their loved ones.
Many spoke about being asked to remain composed even when distressing evidence — such as CCTV or social media footage — was shown in court. Some said that where the accused were under the age of 16, they were reminded that the defendants were legally considered children.
“We’re told not to cry, not to show how we feel, because it might upset them,” one bereaved mother said. “But we’re the ones who’ve lost everything.”
Campaigners Sue Hedges, who has lost her son to knife crime, spoke about what she described as a complete lack of bereavement support for victims’ families.
She has never been offered counselling, despite years of campaigning for change.
“Families are left not only without their loved one, but also without help,” Sue said. “You’re expected to just carry on — your child becomes another statistic in the system.”
During Saturday’s demonstration, families were asked to raise their hands if a murder conviction had been secured in their cases. Only a few hands went up. When asked if it had been reduced to manslaughter, most of the crowd raised their hands.
Organisers said the exercise reflected a justice system that too often fails grieving families, leaving them feeling ignored and forgotten.
“These are incredibly brave mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters,” said one speaker. “They relive that one horrific moment for the rest of their lives, and still, they’re told to sit quietly in court so as not to upset the person who took their child.”
Families at the event called for greater emotional support during trials and tougher sentencing for knife crime offenders, especially where young lives have been lost.
All examples shared by families related to past, concluded cases.
Stay up to date with all of our latest updates and content by following us on our social media accounts!
We have created community pages where we will share our up-to-date stories happening in the area. Add the area closest to where you live.