A Double-sided Mirror – The Unseen Pressure on Youth Appearance.
Shakira Bruce-Abubacker today writes on the pressures social media puts on our youth and their appearance.
It’s 7 a.m., and the first thing I do is reach for my phone. Scrolling through Instagram, I’m met with perfectly edited pictures of flawless faces, sculpted bodies and luxurious lifestyles. The influencers with their “effortless” beauty routines, the fitness gurus flaunting toned physiques and the endless advertisements for products that promise to fix imperfections I didn’t even know I had. It’s overwhelming, isn’t it? The constant stream of perfection relentlessly occupying our thoughts, making us question if we’ll ever measure up.
Sometimes, I find myself pondering how the world might have been without the pervasive grip of social media. Would beauty standards still exist? And if they did, what would they look like? Would they continue to idealise features like high cheekbones, a delicately pointed nose, full, pouty lips, a chiselled jawline, a petite waist, and an exaggerated hourglass figure? Or would the focus shift to celebrating natural, unfiltered beauty—embracing the uniqueness of every individual rather than moulding everyone to fit into the same unattainable template?
I often wonder what life was like two or three decades ago, before the rise of social media platforms and the emergence of influencers who now dictate trends and ideals. Back then, beauty wasn’t filtered through algorithms, and the concept of perfection wasn’t curated by influencers with their perfectly staged photoshoots and sponsored posts. Was there a time when the pressure to conform wasn’t so suffocating, when society allowed people to exist as they were, without constant comparisons to unrealistic ideals? I imagine a simpler time, free from the endless scroll of polished images and unattainable standards.
These thoughts frequently cross my mind—how drastically society has shifted and how relentless the pressure has become to appear “perfect.”
But then, I remind myself of an undeniable truth: perfection doesn’t exist. It never has.
The idea of “perfect” is a mirage, an ever-changing list of impossible standards designed to keep us chasing something we can never truly attain.
What’s most troubling is how these standards evolve but never truly fade. Once it was slender waists and subtle femininity, then it became the curvaceous, sculpted hourglass figure. Now, it’s a hybrid of the two, driven by filters and editing tools that create an entirely fictional version of beauty. And yet, no matter the era, the standards have always served the same purpose—to make us feel that we’re not enough as we are.
In this age of social media, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that beauty isn’t a formula or a checklist. Growing up, I didn’t have this kind of pressure. My insecurities were limited to the people I saw around me in school or on television. But today’s teenagers and young adults are exposed to global comparison. Social media isn’t just a highlight reel; it’s a manufactured reality. Filters smooth out skin, apps reshape bodies, and lighting creates illusions that are unattainable for most. Yet, these altered images are presented as reality, leaving countless young people wondering why they don’t look the same.
Every like, comment, or share feels like an account to our worth, not just on our appearance but our lives as a whole.
And the message is clear: you’re only as good as how perfect you appear online.
The rise of platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat has magnified the obsession with appearance. Beauty trends change faster than ever—fox eyes today, plump lips tomorrow, and chiselled jawlines forever. But what’s most alarming is how these platforms often dictate the idea of what’s “beautiful.”
What happens if you don’t fit that mould? The answer is cruel: a sense of inadequacy that chips away at your confidence, bit by bit.
Take it from me. I’ve fallen into that trap. There have been days when I’ve looked in the mirror and picked myself apart, wishing I could airbrush my reflection the way I can on a photo on my phone. I’ve felt the subtle pressure to dress a certain way, wear makeup that aligns with trends, or even hide parts of myself I thought weren’t “Instagram-worthy.” It’s exhausting. And if I, as an adult, feel this way, I can only imagine how much more intense it must be for today’s youth, who are growing up with these platforms as their primary and most times, only, environment for social interaction.
But it’s not just appearance—it’s the cost of maintaining this image. The financial burden of keeping up with trends, purchasing the latest clothes, beauty products, or even cosmetic treatments, has created a new kind of peer pressure.
What a toxic mindset to instill in young minds.
Then there’s the mental health toll. Several studies have shown how social media significantly contributes to rising rates of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem among young people.
They’re chasing an unattainable version of themselves – and the finish line keeps moving.
What’s worse is the lack of accountability from these platforms. Algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement, and nothing drives engagement like insecurity.
What’s missing in all this is perspective. Social media users, especially the youth, aren’t reminded enough that what they’re seeingisn’t real. It’s curated content, designed to sell something—whether it’s a product, a lifestyle, or an idea of perfection. There’s no disclaimer when someone uses a filter or edits their photo. There’s no transparency about the lengths people go to for these images, whether it’s spending hours on a photoshoot or undergoing cosmetic procedures.
So, what can we do about it? First, let’s talk about it openly. Let’s remind each other—and ourselves—that social media is a tool, not a measure of self-worth.
Education is key. Schools, parents, and communities need to teach young people to approach social media with a critical eye. Let’s normalise discussions about mental health and the impact of unrealistic standards.
We also need to take personal responsibility for how we use these platforms. Follow people who inspire you for who they are, not just how they look. Limit your time scrolling if it leaves you feeling worse about yourself.
And most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Remember- real beauty lies in authenticity, not perfection.
It’s our uniqueness, our flaws and our authenticity that make us human. Perhaps, in a world without social media, the emphasis would shift towards these qualities—towards appreciating beauty as something organic and unrefined rather than a manufactured illusion.
Perhaps then, we could breathe easier, freed from the weight of a “perfect” that was never real to begin with.
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